


Crimson Stains

by 5PMB3ll



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), mcyt
Genre: (doesn’t go into detail its alrighty), Author Projecting onto TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Blood, Dysphoria, FTM, Gen, Mention of Philza - Freeform, Older Siblings Wilber Soot and Technoblade, Sbi dynamic, Self projection, Trans TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), mentions of assault
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:21:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29638725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5PMB3ll/pseuds/5PMB3ll
Summary: Tiana is questioning the meaning behind her past experiences and why she just cannot feel comfortable in her own body.Essentially me self projecting lol
Comments: 3
Kudos: 109





	Crimson Stains

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings just in case!!
> 
> \- blood  
> \- periods  
> \- dysphoria  
> \- implied assault  
> \- swearing
> 
> -if any content creator claims they’re uncomfortable with the fanfic I will take it down immediately!

Tiana sat on the toilet, as simple as such.

A common task done by many, but as she stares at the wall in front of her, she can’t help but feel a deep confusion.

Drip.

Was she supposed to feel like this? This was a normal thing, something that came once a month for most women on Earth. It was natural.

So why did it feel so…

...unnatural?

Drip.

...wrong?

Red crimson trailed down her inner thigh, and occasionally drilled into the water below, leaving rings of unsaturated red in its wake.

Taking a wad of toilet paper, she wiped away the blood hastily.

She gagged.

Folding some paper, she stuffed it in the bottom of her stained underwear, ignoring the gross feeling plaguing her mind.

Girl? Girl.

She was a girl.

She was a girl.

Drip.

She is a girl.

Leaning back on the wall, she felt her mind stray further, back onto a darker time.

“Tiana, you can’t play with us.”

“Why not?”

The brunette leaned in closer to her, leaving no space in between them and the wall. Both arms were entrapping her. She felt her alert meter start blaring in her head. This had never happened before. No one had ever gone as far as to bring hands to her skin, but now, her mind was haywire, short circuited, broken. Tiana had no clue how to get out of it, as her brain wouldn’t function. No one prepared her for a moment like this where she could be overpowered mentally. 

“Back away please.”

“When I say you can’t do something, you need to fucking listen. You’re a woman, inferior to us. Put simply, a bitch.”

“And you’re a misogynistic asshole.”

He leaned in closer, arching an eyebrow before whispering something that sent a cold shiver down her spine. It would be the last thing that would wipe away her dignity like rain washing away the chalk drawing on the sidewalk the night before.

“You’ll regret disrespecting me. Beg.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?!”

She looked over at her friend who stood not too far off, and let out a silent plea to call off the dude cornering her. But, he simply let a sorrowful gaze show, filled with an unspoken apology.

“You’ll never be a man, or treated like one. Face the truth.”

A bang at the door woke her from her thoughts. On the other side was the monotone voice that was caked with sleep.

“Tiana? Hurry up, I’ve gotta pee.”

She winced at the name. Hurriedly picking the jeans up to her waist, she flipped the sink on and off, mearily dapping the water with her hands.

It was routine. She didn’t typically take time to use the soap and scrub. 

Opening the door, she nailed him in the shoulder before running down the hall.

“Haha bitch!”

The sleepy man gazed with a look of annoyance.

She immediately stopped and laughed, “Ah, Techno, that was a joke bud!” 

The door clicked shut.

As she turned to continue walking down the hall, she stopped at her door, hand on the handle.

“What’s wrong with you?”

Turning sharply, she gasped in fright.

The groggy man stared up at her in a way that made her feel smaller, despite the fact they were roughly the same height.

“Nothing bruv. You’ve gotta problem?”

“Actually, it seems like you have a problem.”

“Well, you’re wrong.”

“Tiana.”

“Fine.”

—-

Techno stood with his arms crossed, while Tiana sat on the edge of his bed. Techno had offered her his much larger maroon sweater since he knew it was a large comfort item for her. But, he never pried or poked fun at the oddity since he didn’t want to embarrass her. He has always been a safe place for her. Despite his natural mannerisms, he did care.

Before she knew it, she was spilling the feelings she’d been withholding for the past year.

“So, you’re experiencing gender dysphoria.”

“What is gender expo pliant?”

“What wasn’t even remotely close to what I said.”

“Whatever. Explain.”

“I’m actually going to need you to explain. How did you start, or what happened that made you feel like this?”

“Uh, yeah.” She began picking at the fibers of the blankets on the bed. “I know I’m a girl at birth. That’s my sex, yknow? But, I don’t feel like a girl. I don’t know if it’s because I was raised with boys or what. I started feeling like it back when people would accidently call me ‘he’ and stuff. I liked it when it happened. Not in a weird way, but like a, huh, that was nice.”

“And you’re more comfortable with male pronouns and the name Tommy?”

“No! I’m not necessarily comfy with those pronouns yet. But, I do really like the name Tommy!”

“I had to read about this for one of my college classes. You may be transgender or something.”

“He said that’s not real.”

“...who?”

“The dog at the side of the road. Him Techno! Who else?”

His eyes immediately bore the usual dark gaze he’d get when Tiana would mention that kid. Techno was still the only person she had vented the problems to, and he was the one who relayed to Phil, who then pulled her into homeschool, all the while keeping the actual truth hidden six feet under. “He was a homophobic fuck. I’m glad Phil took you out of that school district. They’re gone now.”

“But they live in me brain Tech!”

Internalized homophobia.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to come or finalize things now. It’s a lot to handle in one night.”

“Yeah. Promise not to tell anyone?”

“Sure.”

“Promise? If you’re lying I’ll stab the shit out of you.”

“I promise. Now go to bed, it’s like three am.”

That was a couple years ago, back when Tommy was merely 12. Now, he was 16, streaming, and much more comfortable in his own body.

Although, there were definitely days he couldn’t stand to look in the mirror, he was happier now. Philza happened to know someone in the medical field who was eager to help Tommy start on testosterone and moved a bit around the law so he was able to start at 14. Since then, there’s been noticeable changes. He was pretty lucky though seeming as though he was born with a naturally masculine voice and a flatter body then most.

It took a lot of time to become used to using new pronouns. When he was introduced to Eret, they immediately got along, and Tommy used Eret for as much advice as possible. Eret even offered exercises with using he/him pronouns so Tommy could become more comfortable with them.

Sometimes he’d avoid asking questions too often to Eret cause he didn’t want them to feel like the ‘token gay friend.’ But, Eret would check in anyway when Tommy wouldn't.

Tommy dreaded the day he’d come out to everyone, but until then he was happy. The day he had come out to Phil and Wilbur was a complete accident however. No one typically checked packages, and it was pretty common that the four of them purchased miscellaneous items.

Leaning back in his chair, he began reminiscing of the memory. It was quite embarrassing as it had required a lot of explaining.

He had tried to purchase a binder, and Phil decided to be nosy for once and open the box. Later, Phil brought it up as gently as one could. He still cringes whenever he thinks of the guilt on his father’s face when he realized that he had been using incorrect pronouns and deadnaming him for a couple months.

Everything turned out in the end though.

Sort of.

“Aye Tubbzo, I think I’m going to take some of the spruce from near your area, eh?”

His character sprinted down the streets of Snowchester.

“Cool. Just make sure to replant them so it doesn’t look ugly!”

“I never make things look ugly.”

“Your dirt house says otherwise.”

“Aye, fuck you!” 

The call was filled with chuckles and wheezes. 

Then, a sharp sting was felt on the underside of his chest. Out of habit, he flopped forward in his chair to immediately ease up the pressure the binder was pushing on his lungs. Reaching under his shirt, he pulled at the bottom elastic and took a deep breath in an attempt to get air.

“Tommy?”

Tommy shot up and inwardly cursed. He looked at his other monitor and the chat was in a flurry. Moving the mouse, stopping the chat, and taking a moment to read them. A small ding was heard and he looked down at his phone. 

Wilbur:  
You’re still streaming  
Don't forget  
Tommy how long have u been wearing it

Tommy:  
Let me finish the stream

Wilbur:  
I’m not fucking joking dude  
Answer  
Please  
I’m gonna burst into your room

Tommy:  
9 or 10 ish hours idfk 

Tubbo spoke up, “Tommy, are you alright?”

Using one hand to comb it through his hair, he grinned.

“Sorry Tubbo! Sorry chat! Looks like I’m ending early. Something just came up. I’ll dm you later Tubbo.” 

What followed was a laugh, that didn’t quite have enough air in it to hide his discomfort.

“Alright, see you after your stream?”

“Course, course.”

Wilbur:  
I swear to fucking god Tom if you don’t take it off

Tommy:  
Relax man child  
I’ll take it off let me end stream  
Twitch TOS

With that, he ended the steam like usual. 

He had decided not to check Twitter that night.

As soon as the stream ended and his audience raided Tubbo, the door swung open. Tommy spun in his chair to face the tall man before stretching out his arms. 

The argument didn’t last long, and in the end, they both mutually agreed Tommy should give his ribs a break. It was a common argument as well, and the comments were usually the same. Techno didn’t typically get involved in their exchanges, but would offer skywar games with Tommy after or let him braid his hair. When Wilbur got hyped in an argument, he’d spew some harmful wording here and there. It all had good intent and was a way to peer pressure the boy into taking care of himself. A week beforehand, Wilbur was a bit too extreme, and ended up repaying Tommy with songs on his guitar and a heartfelt apology.

He couldn’t help that he was just a very forgetful person.

Afterwards, Tommy had played Tubbo for a bit offline, and ended up leaving earlier since he was in a bad mood. 

Gently prying opening the door stood the long pink haired boy. Tommy immediately noticed how his hair was let out and reached his thighs, but was also tangled in some place. It happened every couple of days where Techno would ask the same thing. He used pushed his glasses up his nose, and grumbled.

“Tommy, you want to braid my hair? I have to study but it won’t stop getting in my face.”

“Pfft. Sure big man.

They sat on the floor with Tommy behind him combing through the long hair. It tended to get tangled often, so since he had long hair before transitioning, he’d known a thing or two about hair. 

“You should use more conditioner. It’ll make your hair soft ‘n shit.”

“Noted.”

“That’s what you said last time.”

“And I did do it didn’t I?”

He shook his head, despite him well knowing his older brother couldn't see him. He gently nudged his brother on the shoulder. 

“When conditioning you should put it on the ends, not anywhere near your scalp and let it rest for a minute or two. Since you hair is so long you should hold it for longer. Then you can wash it out. It don’t do much if you just place it there for a second or two.”

“Okay.”

“You’re a dick.”

“That was a bit uncalled for.”

“I’m not wrong.”

“Ehh, I suppose.”

Sometimes, it was an annoyance, having to keep up with everything going on in his life, and dealing with old feelings.

But, god was grateful for two supportive older brothers and a semi present father.

“Tommy, I hate to bring it up right now, but Twitter is going nuts.”

“Fuck”.

**Author's Note:**

> May or may not continue this, since I really do enjoy the idea behind recovering from trauma and learning.
> 
> I just let this fic sit in my google docs for a month, and was like, fuck it.


End file.
